Saturday, January 24, 2009

Livin' large on my own!

My trainer is gone...yay!

Oh shit...I'm on my own. On my own to succeed or fail. No one to blame but myself.

Finally!!!

I spent today driving around mostly the home-based businesses in Boulder. Made a few appointments and had some presentations but no closed sales.

My friend was working in Boulder so I called him up to see if he wanted to "do lunch". "Sure" he said, "come pick me up." I drive across town, pick him up and then the age-old question arose..."Where do you want to eat?" " I don't know, what do you want?" We sound like an old married couple after 30 years.

We decided to eat at a small pita shop in town but on our way there, we smelled the sweet smell of BBQ so we turned around and stopped.

As I opened the door, I knew we were in big trouble but since the owner was standing right there, we didn't want to be rude. It still smelled great but the conditions reminded me of some backroom restaurant in lower Alabama. The grease was thick and the counter was dirty, however the old man who owns the place smiled at us through his tooth! It turned out that the owner was the son of a prominent businessman in Denver who always helped the homeless.

We ordered a "Beef brisket sandwich" and had a seat. While we were waiting, some smelly homeless guy came walking in wearing ratty clothes and just socks, no shoes. He started bitching about all the cars and how "if God wanted us to move so fast, He would have given us wheels." "They are stealing all my air. It's my AIR!" The owner offered his some bread and cheese and the guy left but as we were leaving, we saw him taking out the trash for the old man.

The BBQ brisket sandwich was not as advertised. It came out in this Styrofoam to-go box. There was about a 1/2 a pound of fatty brisket soaked in some kind of sauce, two slices of sandwich bread and some Pork and beans. Wow...

It was an experience that I won't try again. I ended up getting sick to my stomach, going home earlier than I wanted.

Moral of the story...make sure you have all your shots before eating in a place like that!

We're not in Boulder anymore!

On my final day with my trainer, he decided that we should prospect in a more rural section of my territory so it was decided to head to the small town of Berthoud, Colorado.

Berthoud is a quiet little town that is beginning to show some signs of coming into the 21st century. Main street still churns along but at each end of town there is new commercial construction beginning.

Many of the places that we call on in this part of the country are home-based businesses. So armed with a portable GPS unit, we head off into the great unknown. Against my advice, my trainer decided that we didn't need a real map. The GPS unit was going to set our route and we would just follow it. So off we go into the wild brown yonder.

We visited a couple of places pretty close to each other and then it seemed that we were being drawn into an abyss by some type of tractor beam. We drove for 15 minutes...20 minutes...thirty minutes heading west toward the great Rocky Mountains. On our way out to "Deliverance", the trainer decided that he needed to pee. He suggested that I just stop at the next gas station. Hello!!! We are in the middle of B.F.E. All I see are rocks and sage brush. No houses, no trees, just sage brush.

Finally after about 40 minutes we see signs of life. Now I had to go pee too! That damn GPS unit drove us to a state park that is really a reservoir. If I would have had a real map, I could have taken the direct route but what do I know? But Ha! I know every state park has those little toilet buildings and we finally see one way ahead. As we get to it and stop, we get out only to find that the buildings are locked for the winter. Shit! Now what?

After peeing on the side of the building, we get back in the car an finally find the "business" we were looking for. The 'owner' was an essentric scientist and inventor that had to show us every little invention that he had in progress. I was finally able to get him to sit dowm long enough to give the sales pitch only to hear why he is so broke. Something about a divorce, kids, child support, whatever. No sale and 100 miles on my tired, old van.

Back in the van and down the washboard road, we finally make it back to civilization about lunch time. I pulled into a A&W root beer stand to go pee again and get a papa burger and a root beer but as I was waiting in line, the trainer said to me, "We're not actually going to eat here, are we?". Well...that was the idea. That's why I pulled into the driveway, parked the car and got in line with the other people who apparently wanted to eat here too. "I am on a diet and don't want to eat all this greasy food" was the next thing to come out of his mouth.

Back into the car, seat belt on and now were driving again. He decides to find a resturant using his little GPS unit. "Oh, they have a chinese place around the corner". Are you kidding me? We are in the middle of meat and potatos country and he wants chinese? I knew this was going to be my last meal with his so I was a champ and went along. Into the chinese resturant we go. As I open the door, the stench of burning oil (Grease) was floating in the air. He ordered Sweet and Sour Chicken (deep fried in grease) and rice (which he drenched in soy sauce...Sodium) and was as happy as a cockroach in a chinese resurant.

After eatting the worst chinese food in my life and a trip to the bathroom, we were off and running again.

I went to a small beauty salon that was basically a converted garage and met with the owner. After I finished my pitch, she told me the saddest story I have ever heard. She had worked hard for over 30 years, got cancer and had to have her sister come help her. They have one employee that works full time and they just had to take a pay-cut for themselves. Apparently the cost of doing business was just too much and now they live on less than what social security would pay them.

We have got to do something to help the businesses on main street right now if we are going to save the businesses on main street. We don't need another lame ass $500 "stimulus check". If a $500 check is going to change your life then you really don't have a life. What we need is to allow small business to operate their businesses without all the red tape that the state and federal government ties them up with. Cut taxes for small business so they can afford to hire people. Give them the breaks they need, not some giant company who didn't and can't properly manage money.

I saw the reality of our country today and I cried.

What's a "head shop"?

Day three puts us back in Boulder but today we have the fortune to be on University Hill. Thousands of University of Colorado (CU-Boulder) students live within a mile or so of "the Hill". This hill consists a single street about five blocks long. There are quite a few restaurants, bars and student-related shops, not to mention a police substation on the far end of the block.

In the building that houses the police station also is home to a small 'gift' store. From the outside, it looks like a typical souvenir shop. My trainer insisted that we go into this place of business so, like an obedient child, I lead the way into this shop. I could see and smell from outside what I was in for.

The shop was not a gift store but a head shop. My trainer, being a Mormon and from Boise, had never seen a pipe or bong in person before in his life. But this was different, very different. There were so many pipes and bongs that the business could be reclassified as a museum. There must have been 1000 pipes of every color, shape and size. The bongs on the other hand were very impressive. The collection ranged from the very small to the extremely large. I saw one that was almost five feet tall.

As I spoke with the owner, who must be in her late 60's, it became clear to me that she really wasn't worried about anything. I mean, taxes, no problem. Insurance, no problem. Her additude was very laid back and chilled out. I knew from the time that I walked into the shop that it was a waste of time but who am I but the lowly trainee.

As we walked out, my trainer actually believed that the pipes and bongs we used to smoke tobacco.

The moral of the story is...don't go to Boise.

What did your mom say about wearing clean underwear everyday?

The morning of my second day of training takes me back to Boulder. I am still with my trainer, who I find out is a Mormon from Idaho so Boulder is quite a shock to him. It has been unseasonably warm for the last week or so. The morning is a little nippy but by about 9 a.m. it has warmed up into the low 50’s and I take off my jacket.

As we begin canvassing the daily territory, we found ourselves outside an upscale salon. As we walk into the salon, we immediately see two dogs running around. The smaller of the two is a black toy poodle. We meet the owner who is quite pleased that we are there.

We make some small talk and I mention to her that my daughter is a stylist in California and she says to me, “Who the hell is cutting your hair? It looks terrible! Your daughter must be freaking out about how bad your hair looks.” I am a guy but I really don’t think my hair looks that bad. If anyone knows my fiancé, the know that she would NEVER let me go anywhere with her if my hair was that bad.

So, she asks the two of us to have a seat in these very small chairs that sit rather low to the ground. The owner goes to her office and rolls out a chair that looks like a doctors chair. You know the type, the seat screws up and down according to the persons comfort level. As she sits down, I notice that her chair is sitting up about eye level for my trainer and me.

The owner is wearing a mid-thigh black nylon skirt, black string undershirt with a shear see-through top. She is a large lady but not fat, however she has some big boobs. I mean 44DD!

I begin my presentation and about five minutes into it she adjusts herself on her seat and my trainer and I get to see that she is wearing no underwear. I mean, it was a real live beaver shot. On top of that, she was completely shaved and smooth as a babies butt.

My trainer immediately looks straight ahead and tried not to blush but it was too late. Me, I am still in the middle of my sales presentation so I had something to keep my mind on.

At the same time the peep show was going on, the toy poodle decided to take a shit on the floor near the front door. No one sees this except for me but I made a mental note to step over it when I leave.

The dog runs over to the trainer and tries to get up on him but he brushes him off so the dog jumps up on the salon owner and stays there for about five minutes. At the very moment that I pulled out the rate chart getting ready to start the close, she jumps up and screams, “Holy Shit! The dog just shit on me!” She started barking orders to an employee to help her but they weren’t going to grab a shitty dog. She finally gets someone to take the dog and while still freaking out she is trying to wash the shit off her skirt.

During this time, I am just about to pee my pants because this is the funniest thing I have seen in many years. My trainer, already traumatized by the beaver shot, sits very quietly waiting for something else to happen. As she is cleaning herself up, she says to me, “I thought it was you, your breath! You know, coffee breath. Oh My God!”

After a couple more minutes, she walks into her office and takes off all of her clothes and puts on a pair of stylist robes. They are very thin nylon robes that stylist wear especially when they are coloring someone’s hair. She puts one on the front and the other around the back. It covered her up for the most part but still very see-thru.

She comes back out, has a seat, and I continue exactly where I left off. I get to the end of the presentation and close the sale with little objection. Although making any sale is great, has I not closed the sale, I have an unbelievable story to tell.

Stupid Sales Scripts!

The day I interviewed for my new job, the interviewer (who is now my District Manager) gave me the sales presentation. He had it down pat. No missteps or mistakes. It rolled off his tongue like water off a ducks back.

When he was finished he asked me, “Do you think you could learn this presentation?” “Of course I can.” (What was I supposed to say, I really needed this job). Then he showed me the compensation plan and how the sales commission was just the start. With this bonus and that bonus, I could be making six figures in no time flat. My eyes must have looked like saucers to him. “All I have to do is sell this many a week and I can make how much?” Hell ya I can do this…

I was all fired up, but really wanting to get another job that I interviewed for, I left the room feeling like I was going to conquer the world. What was I going to do with all this money? Since my fiancé was working full-time making a great salary, most of this money was going to go towards paying off the bills, adding to savings and then, PLAY MONEY!

I waited a week on pins and needles to hear from the other job when the phone rang. As I answered it, I was thinking to myself, let is be an offer. It was an offer but not from the job I really wanted but from this sales job. My District Manager said that he was going to send over a script for me to memorize….WHAT?

Memorize a script? I knew what a script was for an actor but for a salesman? Was I going to really be a salesman or just play one during the week? So, I get emailed a script that was only two pages long. I though, no problem, I will just learn this and then when I get out in the field I will just do it my way.

I got the script about two weeks before I started the job and spent hours and hours going over every word until I had the thing completely memorized, including the sub-notes colored in blue.

Day one of training we go over the script and I did well (except for the sub-notes which I wasn’t supposed to read). We continued to practice and it seemed like every hour something was added.

Over and over we go until the script was now over five pages long. I kept thinking to myself of how I was going to ditch the script when I get to in the field and do it my way. I have been selling for about 10 years and the company for about six times as long. What do they know anyway?

Having the original script down pat and the new script attachments memorized well, I was ready to tackle the real world. The real world would have been easier if the business owner knew his portion of the script. He didn’t ask me the right questions at the right time, as outlined in the script and at he end of the presentation, I was always supposed to have a signed contract…hmm.

Monday morning comes along and I am supposed to meet my field trainer, who is flying in from out-of-town. He shows up five hours late so I decide to “hit the road running” by myself. I practiced this script dozens of times, maybe even a hundred and I know how to sell. Let’s put on the ol’ Robert charm.

My first business that I come to is a tire store and I actually get to speak with the owner. Here I go, I was thinking, now I can do it my way. As I began to give the presentation, somehow what I meant to say and what actually came out of my mouth didn’t seem to be in sync. By the end of the presentation, I don’t know who was more confused, the business owner or me. Neither one of could figure out what I was really selling. I wasn’t sure if I was selling him something or if I was going to buy a new set of tires.

During the next few hours on my own, I stopped at about 12 businesses and somehow, by the grace of God or just dumb luck, I made a sale. I don’t know if she really knew what I was saying because she was an immigrant and didn’t speak English very well but all I know is that she signed a contract and I got the check.

My trainer finally shows up and we go through all the formalities and then hit the road. He lets me give the first presentation just to see if I practiced the sales presentation. When I was finished, my trainer apologized to the store owner and let him know what we really were selling and then he said, “Let’s go to lunch so we can talk about your presentation.”

LESSON NUMBER 1- STICK TO THE SCRIPT

The script is there not to teach you how to be a robot but to keep you focused on the key selling points in the presentation. If you stick to the presentation, no matter what, you will sound like you know what you’re doing and the client will actually understand you. The last thing you want to do is confuse the client.

So to sum up my first day on the job, STICK TO THE SCRIPT, STUPID!

(Oh, by the way…on my second day of training, my fiancé lost her “good paying job” so my hopes and dreams of fast cars and international travel turned to just paying the mortgage and putting food on the table.)

sales⋅man / [seylz-muhn]–noun, plural -men. a man who sells goods, services, etc.

Who in their right mind gets up early every morning, put on a suit and tie, drives to their first sales appointment of the day just to hear some lady say, "I had an appointment with who?", then shuts the door.

Well...I guess that puts me in the category of not being in my right mind.

sales⋅man / [seylz-muhn]–noun, plural -men. a man who sells goods, services, etc.

I thought it would be fun to write about the many facets of a door-to-door salesman. However, I am not just any salesman, I am a Territory Membership Representative.

I am a 40ish year old man with my whole life ahead of me. I am fairly good looking, tall, dark and somewhat handsome. I look much younger than my age but feel much older. I have been there, done that and have some type of badge, certificate, plaque or award to show for it.

I have the great opportunity to work in a very diverse demographic and geographical area. Living in Colorado, the elevation of my territory starts at 4900' above sea level and at it highest peak tops out over 14,000'. From the mountains to the prairies to Pearl Street in Boulder...
In the morning I could be standing in a farmers field talking to him about the price of wheat and in just a few hours I could be walking down Pearl St. listening to a 18ish year old boy playing a drum chanting "Hare Krishna".

I specialize in B2B sales, focusing on a "one-call close" which can be very difficult. The challenge that I face mainly is just getting in front of the business owner. Once I have a few minutes of his/her time, I have a good (not great) closing average.

I hope to share in this format the challenges and victories that I encounter each day. The funny, the sad and even the desperate moments that I will face as I meet many small business owners in my journey.

I hope you enjoy and can relate. Please feel free to comment here so we can all learn from each other.